Son in the Shadows: "Navigating Life as the Black Sheep of Narcissistic Parents"

It is easy to blame the other person when something unpleasant happens. You might end up in a situation and look at it externally. This is very prevalent and something common within narcissist families. It is the idea of seeing someone as the enemy when a particular situation occurs. This tactic is used so the focus is not on themselves but on the other’s person’s perceived actions. It also makes you to disregard their own negative behavior, making you see it as normal and acceptable. They portray a ‘poor me mentality’. This may work in the short term. Yet, it does not work at all in the long term. It is not a mature or practical approach.

However, if something unpleasant happens to you, they use it as leverage. They portray it as a weakness on your part. It is totally blown out of proportion. They use not only for you to not take accountability for the situation but making it weigh on your mind. You become fixated on the other thing or person. You see it as the cause of your experience. This perception occurs instead of taking a healthy dose of self-accountability. You don’t take on a ‘poor me’ mentality but rather a ‘shame on me’ mentality. This is used to control you. By taking healthy self-accountability, including negative situations with them, you take power away from the other person. You shift the power onto yourself.