Back with another post to go into more depth with male scapegoating. I touched upon factors and motives that would influence how a male scapegoat is selected. Now I will first define male scapegoating in the family context. It involves systematically targeting and blaming a male family member, typically a son. This is done for the problems and failures or negative emotions within the family.
This involves unfair criticism and blame directed at the male individual. Families like this are very toxic. They are harmful for male scapegoats because there is a lot of emotional manipulation. Psychological abuse is also prevalent. They do this by undermining the individual’s sense of self-worth and masculinity. As a result, the family uses the designated male as a repository for family tensions and dysfunction.
Male scapegoating can be particularly damaging due to societal expectations of male strength and resilience. This makes it harder for the target to seek help or acknowledge the abuse. The definition above emphasizes the unique challenges faced by male scapegoats in narcissistic family systems.
If left unrecognized, growing up in such an environment has significant long-term psychological implications for the male scapegoat. It harms the male’s self-esteem and leaves them with feelings of unwarranted guilt. It also leads them to not trust people easily or to show their true selves in relationships. Scapegoating can affect other areas of life, including school and the workplace. The target becomes conditioned to tolerate bullies, toxic bosses, and deceptive colleagues. The male scapegoats would then feel there is something wrong with them and that they’re defective.
This leads to feeling misunderstood, which brings me to my next point, societal factors. I believe this is one of the strongest implications that male scapegoats face. In the current climate, a lot of males are struggling with their identity and place in the world.
A male scapegoat is even more confused. They’re attacked by their family for showing their true masculinity. They also face challenges in the current climate, which holds a negative view on masculinity. A lot of males are not encouraged to be themselves and are encouraged to be more feminine. These traits are not necessarily bad. We all have a mix of these from both genders. Nevertheless, there can be an unhealthy balance. Other factors come into play with this including more single mother households. Even in families with two parents, toxic behavior can lead to similar problems for men.
On the bright side, there are ways that a male scapegoat can combat this and different strategies. A lot of this I relate to. The most important way to overcome the effects of being scapegoated is via self-development. This is good because it would focus on all areas of a man’s life. It includes developing their mental framework. It also involves changing their outlook, pursuing different passions, and learning new skills. What also helped me is through sharing any problems with trusted close friends.
A male uses various coping strategies discussed above. He learns to be their own person by forging their identity. A right that was denied growing up. From early in their life, a male scapegoat develops a mentality aimed at breaking the cycle of intergenerational trauma. They become the total opposite of their family of origin. I remember once. I made a drastic change in my life. When a close friend saw this, they stated that I was always so different from my family.
I would like to know more about your understanding of male scapegoating and your definition of it. It will be helpful to know how unique everyone else’s experiences have been. Perhaps you may have a friend who has gone through a similar experience? Feel free to share what you know. I will want to go deep into this topic in the future.
Son in the Shadows: "Navigating Life as the Black Sheep of Narcissistic Parents" 