“You had the most friends when you were the worst version of yourself.”
I recently came across this quote, and it hit deep. It speaks to a reality many of us have experienced. This is especially true for those who grew up as the scapegoat in a narcissistic family.
From a young age, we’re taught that being surrounded by people is a sign of success. In school, at home, and in society, we’re conditioned to believe that social validation equals worth. But for those raised by narcissistic parents, this belief is often weaponized against us.
We’re led to believe that solitude means failure. That without constant social approval, we will struggle and fall apart. It also This couldn’t be further from the truth.
The teenage years are especially critical. It’s when we’re most impressionable—trying to fit in, seeking acceptance, and forming our identity. Narcissistic parents, the education system, and even our so-called friends capitalize on this. They shape us into people who doubt themselves. We fear being alone and crave external validation.
But embracing solitude isn’t a weakness. It’s where real self-discovery begins.
I encourage you to keep moving ahead, whether with people by your side or alone. If alone, then you will eventually find your tribe who align with the newer and better version of yourself.
Son in the Shadows: "Navigating Life as the Black Sheep of Narcissistic Parents" 