To keep you stuck and anxious, a lot of older narcissistic family members, like parents, would manipulate you by comparing you to a sibling or an extended family member. They tend to disagree with whatever decision you make in your life. They will fabricate a story about your sibling or cousin making a ‘so-called’ bad decision and how they were able to sway them away from it, and how their life turned out for the better. In some respects, these events actually occur, but your siblings and cousins won’t tell you right away that they are satisfied. Often, they pretend because, in such an environment, speaking out against older family members is prohibited. This is often the case if you and your family are non-Caucasian.
Later on, you find out that the decision your cousins and siblings make in light of narcissistic parents is something that they actually don’t want to do; as a result, they become resentful but still pretend and act like it is all okay. This is why I strongly advise not becoming too close to people like this, especially by telling them any of your plans. These people will want you to sabotage your plans and be like them. However, they use this as a power play to try to control you whilst eventually making their own decisions to do what they want. The only thing is, you can’t do that as well.
