Tag: #Recovery

• ‘Rocking The Boat’ is Both Necessary & Healthy

  

  In the modern world, most people learn to ‘bite their tongue.’ This is especially true for men. They are taught to just go with the flow. If you go against this, it is considered to be too abrasive and inconsiderate. You see this a lot in friend circles, romantic relationships, work settings, and religious communities.

  But in the narcissistic family, the ‘boat’ is a cage. It is used to keep people locked in. They have no way of getting out. I have also observed that this works on very small children. It works on the women as well. They have no way of defending themselves. But as a man, you’re naturally more assertive and can defend yourself. This is seen as a threat, and the goal is that you do not leave their control and influence. This situation is not sustainable. Men have an ego. To use this healthily, they need to give their opinions and have their own preferences. It will seem difficult to ‘rock the boat’. You will initially feel like a bad person. Nevertheless, from my personal experience, people respect you more. They see you as more genuine and authentic.

  Plus, speaking your mind will make you feel better and increase your self-esteem. This is because you will have no regrets. This is opposed to months or even years down the line when you regretted staying silent. Malignant and toxic people will not be pleased when you refuse to be quiet. Yet, deep down, they respect this. It also explains why a lot of narcissistic people treat each other poorly. No one speaks out or leaves.

  I also realized that people who generally like you and appreciate you being in their life will respond positively. They would not react negatively to you speaking your mind. It really is a test of who is genuine and who appreciates you for who you really are.

  30th Jan 2026

  #Authenticity, #Fake, #Fawning, #Healing, #Integrity, #Narcissism, #NiceGuySyndrome, #PeoplePleasing, #Recovery, #Scapegoat, #Self-Esteem, #Truth, Mental Health, narcissism, narcissist, narcissistic-abuse, relationships

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• Let Anger Be Your Fuel, Not Your Future

  

  Many people view anger as negative. If you show you’re angry, then it reflects badly on you. Not only that, but it can also be used as a shaming tactic. Toxic individuals often invalidate your experiences, views, and opinions. Even when you have every right to feel the anger.

  I am here to tell you, anger, when used in a healthy way, can be the key to moving ahead. It can also help tackle challenges and tasks head on. It goes hand in hand with tolerance. The lower your tolerance for certain things, the more you will manage to assert your anger when needed. In a toxic and narcissistic household unhealthy and unregulated anger is the default. It is used to bully and try to emasculate you. This just leads to shutting down and repressing yourself, and not being to recognize when someone is disrespecting you. If someone is trying to shame anger, what they’re really doing is manipulating you. This doesn’t just start when you are a boy but leaks into your romantic life, friendships and work life.

  There come’s a time in a man’s life where you hit a certain threshold and you need to shift gears. The anger is not about getting back at someone. Instead, it’s to put a level of fear in them. Without an ounce of fear (healthy), anyone can cross your boundaries. The problem is narcissistic family members take this to an absolute extreme. They hold onto anger and use it for a long time. It then becomes a way of life. This should not be the goal for you or for your future. Leading with anger permanently will not lead to true happiness. Nevertheless, you can use it to get out of the shadows. Make sure it is controlled and only for a very short period.

  27th Jan 2026

  #Anger, #Assertive, #Boundaries, #Growth, #Healing, #LifeForce, #Masculinity, #Narcissism, #Recovery, #Scapegoat, #Strength, #ToxicDynamics, emotions, healing, life, Mental Health

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• When the Mirror Refuses to Reflect: Why Male Scapegoats Face Harsher Treatment

  

  In narcissistic families, the scapegoat role is rarely about fairness — it’s about control.
  Traditionally, people assume the family resents the scapegoat because he displays traits they secretly wish they had: confidence, strength, independence. And yes, that’s part of the story. But there’s another, often-overlooked reason: the scapegoat refuses to show the illusion they’ve built for themselves.

  For a male scapegoat, this rejection can feel even more dangerous to them. In their world, you’re not supposed to have boundaries. You’re supposed to bend. You should smooth over conflict. You are expected to protect the family image at your own expense. When you stop doing that, you start to say “no.” You start to focus on your own needs without guilt. You’re no longer a safe mirror for their ego.

  And that’s when the claws come out.

  It’s not always about you being “difficult.” It’s about you no longer being useful to the fantasy they’re selling themselves and everyone else. A male scapegoat who stops people-pleasing becomes an uncomfortable reminder that real self-respect doesn’t depend on constant approval. You become proof that you can survive — even thrive — without their validation.

  They don’t just lose control over you. They lose the comfort of the illusion that everyone buys into their version of reality. And instead of respecting your independence, they double down — harsher words, more subtle jabs, sometimes outright smear campaigns.

  But here’s the truth they don’t want you to realize. Once you’ve broken free from the role, you can’t be put back in it. This only happens if you choose to step back in. Standing firm is an act they can’t bear to witness. This includes setting boundaries, saying no, and protecting your mental space.

  8th Aug 2025

  #BlackSheep, #Boundaries, #BreakingFree, #Confidence, #Covert, #HealthySelfishness, #Identity, #MaleScapegoat, #NarcissismAwareness, #PeoplePleasing, #Recovery, #Relationships, healing, life, relationships

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• Uncertainty- It’s Okay!

  

  Life is full of uncertainty, and if you’re struggling with it, you’re not alone. It’s okay to not have all the answers right now.

  For many of us, especially those coming from narcissistic family dynamics, uncertainty can feel overwhelming. We’re often conditioned to seek control, to have answers, to follow a clear path. But what if I told you that uncertainty doesn’t have to be feared? It’s a part of life that allows us to grow and create new opportunities.

  It’s okay to not know the next step. Sometimes, the most powerful thing we can do is embrace the unknown. It gives us room to explore, learn, and redefine ourselves.

  If you’re feeling unsure about the future, remember this: uncertainty means you’re pushing boundaries. That’s a good thing.

  So take a breath. You’re allowed to take your time, figure things out at your own pace, and trust that the answers will come.

  11th Apr 2025

  #Endurance, #Growth, #Healing, #Hope, #NarcissismAwareness, #NarcissisticAbuse, #Persistance, #Recovery, #SelfEsteem, #Strength, #Uncertainty, Reflection

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